Need a break...

I'm sick of Korea right now. I'm sick of where I'm at in my life right now. I'm sick of who I am and what I see in myself. I've realized that I never finished dealing with certain things in my life. Big things.

Throughout my training in the army, I've learned to just put everything inside of me on the backburner. The water is boiling over. As I see thing's resurface, I see that I'm not as strong as I thought I was. I think I'm just really stubborn. I have to be macho all the time and not let anything show. I just go on with the day feeling nothing. You may see me, you may touch me and feel flesh and bone, but in all honesty, I'm not there. I don't know where I'm at right now, or, who I am trying to be. But, it's not me. I need a break. I need to put all my cards on the table and evaluate every part of my life. I have to do this for myself, for my wife and for our marriage.

I am far from perfect, but, I would at least like to be able to live up to my word. Sometimes, that's all I have.